About 3 years ago, I was contemplating the idea of pitching Milk Velvet Pearls to Neiman Marcus. My husband was in Dallas on business & had inquired at their headquarters on my behalf. On that same day, I went to the Tampa store and asked them whether or not they thought I should contact their buyers.
The resounding vote from everybody was YES.
I was reeling with excitement and possibility as I drove to pick up my daughter from school that day. And then, stopped at a red light (alone in my car) I HEARD A VOICE SAY "You must do what you think you cannot."
It was God. I was sure of it. He was telling me to figure it out & to pursue Neiman Marcus. Yes! I had been talking about it all day. He was making my dreams come true! This was a burning bush!
But, a few weeks later when my son's life went off the tracks, I realized that we were a family in crisis. We were facing a drug addiction, and those words meant something entirely different.
God was warning me.
I was about to lose the "motherhood badge" I had awarded myself. I was coming to the end of myself, and my faith was going to be tested.
If you've experienced addiction close-up, you know it's a living death with unimaginable grief. Words like terror, devastation, shame, and heartbreak don't even come close to describing the feelings.
But, I'm here to tell you that shining a light on the darkest places can reveal extraordinary things. And that trusting God with impossible circumstances can open the door for miracles.
I wasn't supposed to be the mother of an addict. And I never wanted to associate my beautiful pearls with something as ugly as drug addiction. But it's who I am, and why I do what I do. And I'm okay with it now.
My son is 26 months clean, and our painful journey has made me into a different person. A confident, happy person.
I am not who I once hoped I'd be, but I like this person much better.